It is usually safer to meet and play with new partners in a public venue such as a munch or public play party and get to know them over several weeks/months before considering private play.

Some folks recommend adding a third "disinterested" observer who does not participate during the first few "private play" events. The third person simply watches and monitors and may have a cell phone nearby in case of problems. the cell phone has a panic 911 button programmed in.

Don't be afraid to listen to your "intuition" about a prospective player. If the player does not "feel right somehow" then always trust your intuition. Instinct can save your life.

Plan private play ahead and ask your playmate not to deviate too much from the script for the first few play sessions.

If a player has a fixation on edge play (eg, blood sports) during conversation, they probably want to (or will) try it at some point.

Play is an addiction, handle it accordingly.

Take a day or a week off from play occasionally.

Test your safe word on your top once in a while during play...the top should be responsive and respectful. Striving to be "brave" enough to never use a safeword is itself unsafe.

Know your limits.

Watch out for drugs and alcohol during play...they are almost always a bad mix.

You don't know everything about play, sexuality or BDSM...don't try a toy or technique unless you have researched it, perhaps tried it on yourself, and talked about it with your partner.

See a doctor or psychologist if you get hurt.

Leave the location, name, phone numbers of the players with a "safe check-in" person.

Schedule a call to your safe person at regular timed intervals if you think this extra precaution might be prudent.

Newbies sometimes want to try it all and prove they have more experience than they do. Don't be tempted to prove you can take them to the edge if all they really wanted was slightly rough vanilla sex.

Speak your mind: if you don't like scat or blood sports or breath control...say so early and clearly. Every kink is different and even the most experienced of players have limits that make them uncomfortable.

Report illegal behaviors.